Monday, December 19, 2005

Re: In-Car Nation

An interesting development in the Fakiegrind case was reported in the Steeltown Herald today:

Cars were lined up for blocks today, causing great traffic congestion in the north end as people waited to pay their respects to the fallen Agents from last Thursday's sneak attack on the Fakiegrind headquarters. The memorial service was held at Steeltown's new drive-thru funeral parlour--the first of its kind in central Canada.

Friends, family and fans of the Agents listened to the eulogy via their car radio sets while wating to pay their respects to the closed caskets behind the drive-by window of Lundy & Harrison's Memorial Services Inc on Catharine St.

Key streets in the downtown core were closed to regular traffic, and the Provincial Police were out in force, directing traffic and keeping the peace for the thousands of people mourning the loss of the internet blog authors/secret agents, whose popularity in recent months has approached minor rock star status.

Motorists lined up to pass by the window of Lundy
& Harrison's in Steeltown. Photo by Tom

However, the gathered masses were put into an uproar when two of the Agents thought to be lost in Thursday's cataclysmic battle were apparently spotted attending their own memorial service!

Fakie Agents Em and Rock-steady, though reportedly fallen in the conflict known as the Great Smorgasbord, were seen in a dilapidated blue Honda waiting in the motorcade with the other well-wishers. Though they wore sunglasses and sported Van Dyke-style goatees, the sighting was corroborated by at least three different people and one cat.

Citizens are still trying to make sense of the sighting which has brought under question the accuracy of the report of the battle supplied by the entity know as the Watcher.


Blogger His Majesty said...

Then our work is incomplete.


7:08 PM  
Blogger The Watcher said...

I resent the insinuation that my recounting of the story was inaccurate. I am the Watcher, and what I watch is The World.

What happened was, Roboshrub Inc. scoured the battlefield for genetic material with which the ingenious robots, whose society isn't restrained by any hypocritical injunctions against cloning humans, managed to reconstruct host bodies for the fallen Agents.

All that remains is to lure their spirits back into the reconstructed mortal remains before the expiry date of the fleshy carcasses.

Thus were the two Agent's bodies driven through the motorcade for the memorial service, in the hopes that their spirits would still be hovering about and, seeing themselves looking so good all dressed up, would enter into their new bodies.

Whether the plan was successful will not be known for a few more days, while the Roboshrub surgeon-bots struggle to reconnet the soul and body of the Agents through a delicate and risky pineal gland operation.

Flatlander, however, remains at large.

7:55 PM  
Anonymous Descartes said...

I'm heartened that people/robots are finally taking interest in the pineal gland.

6:55 AM  
Blogger Gyrobo said...

Flatlander lives! And in more than two dimensions, too!

8:57 AM  
Blogger Captain Canuck said...

Dear Gyrobo,

Rumour has it that Flatlander may be making his way back from the Other Side any day now. He will need a corporeal frame in which to inhabit whilst we grow his clone human body in the Regeneration Banks.

We were wondering if you or Roboshrub might have a robo body we could use in in the interm. Maybe the "ghost of future robots" or something.



3:00 PM  
Blogger Gyrobo said...

Well, here's the "Ghost of Robot Future".

I'll get to work on another one if flatlander's ghost does not approve of its linear fabric.

9:09 PM  

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